Yesterday I had a DM exchange with Keith Walkiewicz. Even though I know he is as human as anyone, it is useful for me to picture him as avatar of the divine, or an embodiment of the Tao, because everything he writes seems to have an additional layer that I only discover if I ponder for long enough.

This was our DM exchange (which is actually simple, but it illustrates the case).

Hi Keith, I just listened to your audio blurb and felt encouraged to share with you my current conundrum: when faced with an unsatisfying but tolerable life situation, how do you know if you should work towards acceptance or towards change? If the question is too vague I can put forth a couple of specific examples.

Hi Mark, I think it depends on the dynamics of the situation. There are areas of my life that I would like to be different, but I tolerate them because they afford me certain comfort, security, etc. But that doesn’t mean it has to stay that way forever. Of course I’m not familiar with your exact situation, but if it’s truly unsatisfying I would be that you’ll know something has to change. As if a more aligned vision for your life has to come about, even if it’s not clear how that will happen. Are you interested in having a conversation about this?

Your response made me notice I’m seeking change through aversion rather than seeking to align myself to a higher vision. Furthermore, when I introspect it is clear that I know what I don’t want, but what I want is so vague that it is not really actionable. This seems to have the effect of magnifying the dissatisfaction because it is the only source of motivation for change. Unless you see a fault in my reasoning, I think I have enough homework for now (establishing a clear vision of what would be a good life, and move in that direction instead of moving away from the bad life).

Somehow your insights always point towards a grip that I hadn’t seen before and this allows me to continue climbing. Thank you so much, Keith.

Glad to have helped Mark. Keep climbing!