Mark, it sounds like you’re honing in on “alignment” which is something that I think is one of the most important aspects of individual development. The tracker you described in your article is interesting not for the data itself, but because it demonstrates your own “humanness” if that makes sense. If I am reading into it correctly it seems that even when all the boxes were marked, it still felt like there was something missing, the “higher level” you mentioned.

I’m curious to know in each of the states you described, let’s call them function (conscientious-dilligent-consistent) and flow (flowing-spontaneous-intuitive), where you feel like you are drawing the energy from? What part of yourself is fueling each of these states of being?

On Mon, Jun 22, 2020 at 7:23 PM Squarespace no-reply@squarespace.info wrote: Name: Mark MacKay

Email: mark@method.ac

Subject: Improve

Message: Hi Keith, I came across the /improve link at the bottom of your newsletter. I’m most definitely interested in having this conversation, as I’ve been on this life track for about seven years by now and I feel we are on common ground.

This is something I wrote five years ago https://medium.com/@duopixel/the-qualified-self-7f69c6b23623 but my approach now has evolved (oriented towards maximizing flow rather than holistic development and task completion), but this was necessary at that time.

I feel I’ve mastered both approaches separately, I’m a functional “human appliance” who can complete tasks without attachment, and I’m also a functional “human with a soul” who moves through flow and intuition, but I have not been able to transcend this duality. There must be a higher level, where one can be both flowing-spontaneous-intuitive as well as conscientious-dilligent-consistent, and here is where I would like to begin the conversation, if you are willing.

Peace,

(Sent via Intellect Optional)

If I am reading into it correctly it seems that even when all the boxes were marked, it still felt like there was something missing, the “higher level” you mentioned.

Yes, during this time I was healthy but unhappy. Then I discovered my sense of lacking and satisfaction, represented from red to green, was folly, so begun registering action and flow, and that was much more aligned with my intuition of truth.

The latest one I finished a couple of days ago, and is more a work of naive art. I drew a mandala with 32 divisions representing days, and on each day painted four or five scenes or symbols representing actions. So you may find a logo of a project I worked on, a nice dinner I had with my family, an incident that caused a significant impression, and such. Then, in small polygons, there’s codified information representing information from my environment and my home (water/water, gas/fire, electricity/air, land/earth).

I tried incorporating functions (exercise, chores, etc) but I sensed a violent contraction in the nature of what I was doing, and stopped trying to “do” things. It was throughly enjoyable but there’s an undenaible decline in function when I pursue the more meaningful aspects of life.

(image from the wiki, not exported)

I didn’t begin this response with the intention of placing the conversation around the virtuegraph, but your questions help me gain clarity as to what I am discovering in myself through these works of art, which is how I see them now.

When I finished this one, I felt the impulse to put “my life back on track” with a virtuegraph oriented towards function. But I had to admit to myself: I do not know how to tackle function without the sense of lacking yet.

I boil down this stream of thought to a single question: how do you tackle function without a sense of lacking?

where you feel like you are drawing the energy from? What part of yourself is fueling each of these states of being?

Inspiration, curiosity, alignment of intention and action are what fuel flow. What fuels function? Good question. The inner judge, the one who thinks dropping exercise for the duration of the quarantine is not satisfactory, while the other side says “fuck that, that was an inspiring month!”

I think your second question helped me answer the first.

If I’m not mistaken I have arrived to the crux of the issue:

What is the energy source for function which does not cause a sense of lacking?

Keith,

I pondered upon the question and I find that I no longer need an answer. I have forgotten what I already knew (a common pattern in personal development, I don’t understand well why, but it seems we have a regression in order to live through a progression).

The source of function comes from embodiment of The One. I must resume contemplation in order to manifest function. The judge is the ego, and it is folly to let him whip you for not being functional.

This appears to be true, but will be experienced in practice. This I will do on my next virtuegraph cycle.

If you are interested in keeping the conversation flowing, I will write to you at the end of july with my experiences.

If you feel the reason for us to have this conversation has run its course, I am equally grateful to the liberation you help accomplish, which I do not understand very well yet, but I can’t help but admire.

Peace,

—

Keith Walkiewicz 6:41 PM (2 hours ago) to Mark

Mark, first of all, that mandala is beautiful. A very creative and artistic way to map out one’s experiences. I’m not sure if you share your artwork widely, but you should.

Second, I’m glad that you rediscovered an answer that you had already known, perhaps with slightly new eyes this time. Funny how that works sometimes, we can become sidetracked by ourselves and forget the powerful, obvious answers we have already developed. I can’t say that I really helped haha, it seems that the answer you’ve been looking for was already right under your nose.

Let me know how July goes and if you come upon a greater alignment between flow and function. I’m curious to find out how well you are able to keep the two intertwined, as this is something I have trouble with as well.

All the best,

Keith